Why am I so stupid? Uhhhh! I don’t know why I do the things I do except that I’m trying to make you care about something I do, anything I do and this leads me to doing things I normally wouldn’t. I really needed to talk to you tonight. If you were still a part of my life I wouldn’t have done anything… or I might have to make you jealous, but I probably wouldn’t have. But you don’t care. You don’t care what I do or what happens to me which makes me be reckless… I feel terrible just about now and you aren’t here to make me feel any better so I just have to keep living my life and dealing with the fact that I’m never going to hear from you again or see you again. It’s killing me It isn’t your responsibility to take care of me though, you have someone, I have to take care of myself… until I can find a guy to take care of me who will be there for me and not let me do stupid things and who won’t leave me.

I just hope I can find this person and I don’t end up like I did tonight… crying in someone else’s arms because he was no you and you were all I wanted.